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Epiphany

by Terra Alive

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1.
And it’s “fuck you”, we’re not cool/I really can’t stand you/I treat you as if you had murdered my parents/My mother is love and my dad was our friendship/Your dick is the gun that murdered our friendship/I’m over the “jade” shit, cause that was expected/But you shot “alexis” and that leaves me hectic/I know love is selfish and I wasn’t with her/But I still have nightmares of you all up in her/And I heard you’ve been drunk, choose a girl to fuck/One day I’ll be drunk and your face I will punch/Sober we’re civil/I’d rather ignore you, but inside my head I’m like “fuck you, I hate you”/I used to care for you/We used to be brothers/I told you to change so one day we’d be cool/Just so YOU know/The sound of your name alone/Is enough to make me angry/angry angry oh so angry/Don’t let our paths cross again
2.
Look at me now/My ghost watches me from afar/He likes to keep his distance/I don’t blame him for leaving/I’ve been through a lot in the past year/I’ve been hurt by everyone I love/My sanity tends to vacation when I need him the most/When I stare at the stars, the last thing I wonder is where you are/And I’m growing up too fast and spending all my cash/Everybody knows I’m missing out on drugs and alcohol/They think it won’t be long before I give into your teenage bullshit/Write your problems down on the internet/See who gives a shit, ‘cause I know I don’t/”Sonny Torres when did you become so cruel and started ditching school?”/So I could escape all the ignorance/Street lights are the only way to see him riding his bike all throughout the night/He’s been slaving to his heart and waiting for his dreams to finally wake him up/Girl can’t you see all that make-up you wear is clogging your pours and making things worse?/Trouble makers always listen to trouble makers/Pretty deceiving foresakers/Keep my fucking name out of your mouth/Close the door/Can’t you see we’re busy? Can’t you see that we’re fucking busy?!
3.
Steady as we go/(she’s the) kind of girl to show off/I’m texting her on a daily dose/The other boys can take a hike ‘cause I swear this one’s mine, yeah this trick’s mine/And if she doesn’t text me back I swear I’ll have a heart-attack/If she doesn’t text me back I’m wondering, “Where the fuck are you?!/Sweetie don’t you leave me/When your patience’s wearing thin I’m fleeing/To the market to buy you flowers/Can I get a kiss for effort?/She says that I’m an asswhole/I just say “I know”/I tell her she’s being a drama-queen/She knows/Cursing and fighting/The last thing she said: “fuck you”/“I love you but at times wish you were dead”/fuck me/Surprise, turn on the lights/you look different, when I met you/My lies are useless when you got me figured out/how fucking dare you/What the hell?/I can’t touch myself/And think of anyone else except for you/You’ve poisoned my tongue/I’ve replaced all my favorite things to do with your name/But that’s not it/I’m jealous as shit/don’t talk to him/Or I’ll throw a fit/I’m sorry I yelled/I didn’t mean to raise my voice at you like that/It’s hard to adjust/The way that you magnetically attract me to you/Windows and dust/Tell me your scared/I’m not willing to prove anything at the cost of losing you/Tell me you’ll fight/Every last drop of blood to ensure we’re still ONE in the night/Don’t you ever leave me/I’ll handcuff our hands/I’ll Swallow the key/I’ll lock all the doors/I won’t Let you Leave/Can’t you see me and you were meant to be
4.
Ashes 03:51
Put out your ashes girl/Give me your attention/Now that I'm drunk you'll see/I have the confidence/Every word that you say/Sexually excites me/No need for small talk/'Cause I'm on a mission/I'll put this on you and my mother's grave/Ain't no girl out there got anything on you babe/I la-la-la-la-love when you make all those kinky sounds/You na-na-na-na-naked makes me want to jump around/And I know that I haven't stopped conjuring you for a very long time/You're on my mind when I'm alone, or even at the park at midnight/I can visualize two horny kids making promises that we both naively confide in/You and I are under the influence at the moment and I love it/You and I have come a long way, since we first met and you know it/And you maintain this image/My first love indented in my brain/How do you do that shit?/How do I let you do that shit/But you lie/You got stories/Last time that we drank it was boring/Back to you being the subject of the song/Back to me feeling like we really don't belong/Baboos! Kyle: Push aside the moments that weve gathered. Im on the bottom, and always just bothered. The running in circles, the hurting of two souls. Acting as one, that wont ever last though. Hating the vacancy taking up my brain. Keeping my chin up, and getting me strained. Won't ever give up, we still got the memories. But soon enough you'll get tired of hearing me. Put away the moments that we've made And cherish and save em, for another day. But nevertheless, the clock is broken, Taking for granted, I'm still the joke, and, Eagerly waiting for you to come back But you're on your own, and I'm stuck in the past. Hearing your voice tell me it's okay. I haven't been alright, since you've gone away.
5.
Marble Zone 03:25
All you douche-bags/I poisoned your protein shakes/How do you like me now?/All you horny drunks/I hope you get a disease/And never have sex again/Everybody’s mad and that’s including me/But I have a microphone and you fuckers don’t/How do you like me now?/Boy if your ego’s big enough/You feel the need to beat me up/Just ‘cause you heard me talking shit/Well be my guest and take a hit/If everybody in this town that you’ve been talking shit about/Was just as immature as you/You’d be buried in the ground/Bad bitches “sit”/Sweets I know what you’re thinking/Think what you want/Me and Webster did some talking/We both agreed you’re just a simple common slut/Let’s all get drunk tonight/Just because it’s New Year’s Eve/It’s just an excuse to get drunk with friends and smoke weed/You’re angry and lonely/You’ll never be happy/If you keep on searching everywhere except within yourself/It’s IMPOSSIBLE to deny the fact that we had good memories
6.
What’s going on? You’ve been walking around almost like you’ve been roughing it up with someone else/I don’t know what to believe in anymore/Last night we were in the shower when I noticed/That there’s something different about the way your lips curl out/Almost like someone else besides me has been here/Does he have a bigger package than me? Is he more likely to make you scream? Is his tongue stronger than mine? Or are you in love with him? There’s no stopping me from ending his life/And don’t be surprised if I kill you next/Tell all your friends that they’re on my list of “Bitches To Kill”/Everybody’s got their secrets/Your hairs in his zipper help me see this/Everybody’s got their problems/Mine is I hurt myself just to solve them/And after a while/Shit starts to recycle/You hurt me I hurt myself worse to just/Forget your hair and your smile/On to the public/It’s not fair they’re happy/Why do I feel so crappy? Let’s all get wasted/Cut copy clichés and paste it/On to your profile/Picked up a new style/Dressed like I got friends/No numbers to dial/And don’t be surprised if I show up at your bedroom window with roses in my hand/Don’t be so shy/Open up your blinds/Proceed to slide off your night gown/Don’t be surprised if I make you cry/And Run off in the night with all your clothes and money/Don’t you dare chase me/’Cause then I’ll feel guilty and return your shit in the morning/No it’s not love/It’s just drugs/You talk to me like you don’t know/If I got a heart or if I want to bone/Check my wallet, yeah it’s empty/The other day I saw your face on another guys phone, asking if you want to bone/After you sent him that/You forwarded the same damn sext to me/”Andres you’d be crazy if you think I’d ever forget you”
7.
Trick I just met you moments ago/My thoughts have gone as far as, “taking off your clothes”/No we didn’t fall in love/Trust me that’s impossible/Love takes months to grow/Girl don’t be so gullible/Don’t tell me that we are in love/Don’t tell me that we’re meant to be/Don’t come at me with your beady eyes/Padded-bra detected/Your skinny thighs/Girl you’re so promiscuous/I’m really not into that shit/Oopsies…/You’ve got resin on your lips/Save your drinks and get the hell away from me/There’s no way you could tell just by one glance/I’m your “only man”/That shit only exists in the movies/Trick I just had an epiphany/I THINK that I’m slowly falling in love with you/Someone please get me a priest/Convince me this is a bad dream/Girl will you ask me to stay?/Knowing me I just might stay/Love takes months to grow(even years)/I shouldn’t be so gullible
8.
Ignorant boy the drinking game's about to start/So go inside and you'll recognize/This lost confused girl she's all up on you/Her hands on your thighs have you lost your mind/And tell the social whores not to facebook check you in/Hoping that your girl at home doesn't find out where you are/His standards are so low it doesn't bother him bother him/He's fucking someone else besides the girl he claims to love a lot/This self destructive path starts to swallow him swallow him/The lights begin to dim and someone's in the kitchen/Karma has a funny way of getting back back at him back at him/A stranger with a knife got in/Threatening the ignorant/Stabbed and he stabbed/When did Sex become so casual/You don't know me/Who the hell are you/When did sex become teenager goals/You don't know me/Who the hell are you/Let's all have a toast to"not giving a fuck"/Lying to your lover tell them that you're with your mother/In reality you're drunk as fuck and sexing up another/Party harty where's her panties/Someone out there cares for her/Naughty naughty selfish rotting/Boys could care less of BOUNDARIES/Oh now they're Drunk and fucking in the bed while someone's bleeding in the head/This party life's a distraction for the depressed/Months had past they lost connection/Still she was his one affection/Wasted fucked up still no answer/Why he can't stop thinking of her/Now I realize part of growing up means I end up hurting everyone I LOVE/Make some changes make them now/Backstabbing friends and sluts stay out/Our legs are sweaty our hearts are heavy/We disregard health when we are hurting/It's such a pity we tapped into our self-destructive nature early/Our minds are changing our friends are leaving/From what I've heard this pill will relieve me/It's such a pity we tapped into our self-destructive nature early
9.
You're yelling again/I'm ready to hurt myself/I'm yelling again/and you light a cigarette/And this Argument's so dumb/When you're moody, you're no fun/But I'll sit and watch you smoke/'Cause you're the only ONE/Who makes my heart go pitter(pitter) patter(patter)/When you forget to put on make-up/Your skin shines like glitter(glitter) glamour(glamour)/Oh she's got somewhere to go/But I'm trip her, pick her up on purpose just to let her know/You're not going anywhere 'till you swear to whatever God that you believe in that you'll stay by MY SIDE/And I've been knowing you since freshman year girl now we're seniors/I'm still sprung if more than ever, cardigans and tops I sever/take it to my room, fuck and then we spoon(I'm speechless)/Take it to my room, touch and then we snooze(I'm speechless)/So much stress up in my head/Today I had a lot of shit to do, but I did you instead/And then we just laid nude in bed/Let's get some wine and I'll get tipsy/Then annoy the shit out of you/But you'll sit and watch me rant/'Cause I'm the only one who/Makes your heart go pitter(pitter) patter(patter)/I'll take care of you just like you take care of my ass when I am hammered(hammered) hammered(hammered)/But my business is my business/If you got a problem with who I'm kissing/Keep your bitchin' and your dissin'/To yourself 'cause I won't listen/To anyone but me/Alexis or my mom occasionally/Usually just me/But honestly you haters phase me/No I mean JUST me/I hope my dad's not disappointed/Shit I think I'm WEAK/I wish I wasn't so damn self conscious/What the Fuck is LOVE?/Was it me and you/Is there any hope/I stabbed your heart and left/But it was just revenge/It was JUST revenge/I love you/I miss you/And it's kinda scary here with out you/But I'll be okay/(As long as you come back)
10.
Raven 03:40
Perhaps it was the benadryl/Your smile was fake, but mine was real/I almost sat down next to you/But caught myself before I made myself a fool/So distraught/You’ve left me so distraught/I know you’re just as lost as me/The things that happened changed our destiny/I’m too young to embrace change, or accept things won’t be the same/So complex/You’ve left me so complex/The concept of love is confusing/’Cause everyone who’s loved me has cheated on me/And now love is a stranger/But honestly I’m just afraid to be alone/Not my time/This was just not my time/Having sex and making vows is not right for a teenager/’Cause now I’m in love and willing to give up my goals and dreams for someone I barely know/Pre-mature/This love was pre-mature/If only my hormones had developed more rapidly/Then I could have separated love and lust from reality/Pre-mature/THIS LOVE WAS PRE-MATURE
11.
Epipen 05:02
This is not a “happy song”/Still everyone should sing along/To anyone who’s ever got lost in her eyes/You’re better off blind/What happened Andres?/You used to be so happy/Freshman year you had so many friends/Why did it have to end?/Just how ignorant do I sound when I say, “fuck everybody”/I can’t help it/It’s just how I feel right now/So let me take a bow/Lately I’ve found myself/Slaving to someone else/Is it so selfish?/To look out for my own health/I am just a walking boy/I’ve lost all of my dignity/I know that I shouldn’t have gave you my virginity/Some say that I need attention/Some say I’m like hair-extensions/Let me be the first to admit/Both those claims are true/No bull-shit/I’m done pretending that everything’s fine/I’m done pretending that you’re on my mind/I’m done listening to your pre-mature promises/I’m done pretending that I’m so happy/When clearly I’m not/You’re picking me up/It’s become a routine/In the back of your car/On my shoulder you lean/On the radio/Drake singing the thoughts in my head/”I’m a little bit in love with you”/Can this night last us forever?/I don’t want to go back/But I got to go back/Goodnight/Sleep tight/Don’t let the bed bugs bite/Or rape you/Unless its me
12.
Do you remember when I would walk you home and we’d talk about our favorite bands?/Do you remember when I had barely had the balls to kiss you on the cheek?/That was when you and I were angels/That was when we still had our halos/Do you remember when we would sneak out every night and hang out at the house in the east-side?/Do you remember that time we walked on the beach?/We didn’t give a damn in the world/Do you remember that water-fight?/How innocent we were back then/Now all we know is sin/Will you remember that my favorite place in all the world is right next to you/That was when you and I were angels/That was when we still had our halos/I’m drunk with all my friends/Relationships are proven to be pointless/My mom and dad/Girlfriends I’ve had/You should know by now that I’m a fucking liar/How would you define the word “love”?/How can I trust your sources?/Everybody quick to write their vows/End up in quick divorced/The first time that we made out on your floor/I was convinced you were the one/Every romantic start is only a means to an end/You and I are now far from angels/Can I ever find my halo?

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3rd release from the Bakersfield Progressive-Emo act

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released March 6, 2012

All music written by Justin Phillips and Andres Aparicio
Produced by Justin Phillips and Andres Aparicio
Recorded by Andres Aparicio at sonnyt69studios
cover art by andres Aparicio
cover designed by David Smale
lyrics by Andres Aparicio
lyrics and feature on "Ashes" by Kyle Moreno
lyrics and feature on "Senior Sunrise" by Jarrett Alarcon
Final Story Records

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Terra Alive Bakersfield, California

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